When I woke up on Sunday morning I didn't see Heidi right away. I asked the kids and Cal where she was and Cal said he let her outside. I opened the back door and called for her. She didn't come. I spotted her laying in the grass and called, "Heidi want a treat?" This ALWAYS has her running!!! She loved her food and treats ;) She didn't move. My heart sank. I literally felt my heart drop to my stomach. I ran out to her and she was just laying in the grass, kind of panting. I knew immediately that something was wrong :( I picked her up and brought her inside. She couldn't really walk. She'd stand and stumble a few steps and then sit again. She eventually made her way downstairs and laid on the tile by the fireplace. I watched her and tried to bring her food and water but she wouldn't eat or drink anything. She seemed to be uncomfortable. It was so sad. I sat on the floor near her and she laid her head in my lap. I was torn as to what to do. Our vet isn't open on Sundays, we had hockey practice and a hockey meeting coming up. But I knew I had to take her in, I could not leave her at home alone like this. So after driving around somewhat in distress with Heidi in the passengers seat, I finally found a vet that was open. I was worried about her suffering, worried about the vet cost, worried about being the team manager and missing the hockey meeting, worried about the kids because they weren't supposed to be at the meeting and Cal was the head coach, etc, etc. I walked in the vet carrying Heidi and couldn't even talk, I was a blubbering mess. Thankfully the waiting room was full and a sweet lady volunteered to fill out the paperwork for me. Heidi was uncomfortable and didn't want to sit in my lap, so I laid her on the floor. I knew she was very sick because she didn't even budge with all the other dogs in there. Typically she would be chomping at the bit to run up to them and greet them. She was taken to the back to be examined and then I was called into a room to talk to the dr. That's when he told me that she was very sick. She was full of blood inside, bleeding internally and most likely had a mass on her spleen or liver. He said he could perform surgery but nothing was certain. She was in shock and severely dehydrated. I knew we had to put her down, as much as I loved her, I knew we really didn't have a choice. The vet started an IV line and gave her fluids and pain medication. She was brought into the room with me and was feeling a little better which was really nice. I called Cal and the kids and they came in to see her. We hugged her, kissed her, the kids held her and I took a pic (of course. you know me!). We didn't think the kids should see her falling asleep so after hugs and some tears, they left. I spent more time with her. She laid in my lap and I talked to her. I've never seen an animal put to sleep before but it was actually very peaceful. I continued to hold her for some time after she fell asleep. I know a dog is just a dog but if you have a pet or have had a pet in the past, you know this is only partially true. A dog is a family member, not 'just' a dog. I loved Heidi so much. She was like a child in a way. Having the sick sense of humour I sometimes have, I would joke that she was my handicapped grade 1'er. Sorry, these are my memories so just being honest, not trying to offend anyone. She was my faithful side kick, always under my feet and by my side. I think she really got me. I'm not much of a cuddler and she gave me my space but was always close by. Every time I'd move, she'd look up at me. In the kitchen she literally was always under my feet but at those times she was more after the scraps I would throw her than anything else ;) Heidi was so cute. We always remarked at how she never lost her puppy cuteness!! You know how some dogs grow up and just aren't quite what they were when they were puppies?! Heidi never did that! She was a best friend and probably saw more tears from me than anyone else in my life. The kids arrived after Heidi and she took to them like a champ! Never once did she chew on a baby toy or act aggressive to a toddler. And they sure loved her! I think Emerson more than the other three but Em seems to be our animal gal! All 3 love animals but Em seems to just a little bit more! Em recently started walking Heidi for us. They would walk around the block :) Reese often joining them as well. I couldn't even think about Heidi for a few weeks after she passed, it just hurt too much. It's a bit easier now but still so strange not to feed her, lift her up on to our bed at night time, let her out, etc, etc. So many daily routines we carried out with Heidi. I miss her greeting us at the door and hearing her bark as soon as the garage door opened! Miss her so much but am so thankful we had her in our lives. Love your forever, Heidi Anne Cameron!
