Phew!

Yesterday was a very emotional day! Long story short, I picked the kids up from the dayhome at noon and they won't be going back. I don't want to bad mouth Nancy, but I really don't think she took care of Emerson well. She said to me numerous times, "I don't know what to do." Which scared us, worried us and made us feel very uneasy. Blake was sort of adjusting - not crying, but still not talking much to Nancy other then yes and no answers. We just felt the situation was far too stressful for everyone involved and wanted the kids out.

So now for the next major decision ... should I stay home for a few years ... should we look at other dayhomes ... should we look at a live out nanny ... ?? Argh! We're leaning towards me asking for a leave of absence to take a few months to figure things out and look for good childcare if that's the route we want to go.

I'm having a hard time letting go of my job. Not sure why, I haven't been enjoying work this time around. I think part of it is that I've worked for a lot of years ... my first job was at the St. Paul library back in grade 5!! I've worked every summer since grade 10 and off and on through out high school and during college. Hard work is something I value and I like contributing financially to the household. When it comes down to it, I think it's the "independent woman" in me! lol! On the other hand, in an entirely different way I know it would be good for the family for me to be home for a few years. And while working out of the home and juggling childcare is hard, so is being a stay at home Mom. I can't say one is harder then the other, both involve planning, organizing and different sacrifices. Both have their advantages and disadvantages. So there you go - the battle of the modern woman ...

I have the rest of the week off and will be going to work on Monday with a decision made! Cal is off on Monday and Thursday next week and as for Tuesday and Wednesday ... we're not sure!?

Talk to you soon,

Tracy