It Will Change Your Life

Here is an excerpt from the story I mentioned in my last post (a little long ...):

My daughter and I were sitting at lunch when she casually mentions that she and my son-in-law are thinking of "starting a family."

"We're taking a survey," she says. "Do you think we should have a baby?"

"It will change your life." I say carefully, keeping my tone neutral.

"I know," she says. "No more sleeping in on Saturdays, no more spontaneous vacations."

But that is not what I mean at all. I look at my daughter, trying to decide what to tell her.

I want her to know what she will never learn in child-birth classes. I want to tell her that the physical wounds of childbearing heal, but that becoming a mother will leave her with an emotional wound so raw that she will be forever vulnerable.

I consider warning her that she will never read a newspaper again without asking, "What if that had been my child?" That every plane crash, every fire will haunt her. That when she sees pictures of starving children she will wonder if anything could be worse than watching your child die.

I look at her carefully manicured nails and stylish outfit and think that no matter how sophisticated she is, becoming a mother will reduce her to the primitive level of a bear protecting her cub. That an urgent call of "Mom!" will cause her to drop a souffle or her best crystal without a moment's hesitation.

I feel I should warn her that no matter how many years she has invested in her career, she will be professionally derailed by motherhood. She might arrange for child care, but one day she will be going into an important meeting and she will think about her baby's sweet smell. She will have to use every ounce of discipline to keep from running home, just to make sure her child is all right.

I want my daughter to know that everyday decisions will no longer be routine. That a five-year-old boy's desire to go to the men's room rather than the women's at the mall will become a major dilemma. That right there, in the midst of clattering trays and screaming children, issues of independence and gender identity will be weighed against the prospect that a child molester may be lurking in the restroom. However decisive she may be at the office, she will second-guess herself constantly as a mother.

Looking at my attractive daughter, I want to assure her that eventually she will shed the pounds of pregnancy, but she will never feel the same about herself. That her life, now so important, will be of less value to her once she has a child. That she would give it up in a moment to save her offspring, but will also begin to hope for more years - not to accomplish her own dreams, but to watch her children accomplish theirs. I want her to know that a cesarean scar or shiny stretch marks will become badges of honor.

My daughter's relationship with her husband will change, but not in the ways she thinks. I wish she could understand how much more you can love a man who is always careful to powder that baby or who never hesitates to play with his son or daughter. I think she should know that she will fall in love with her husband again for reasons she would now find very unromantic.

I wish my daughter could sense the bond she will feel with women throughout history who have tried desperately to stop war and prejudice and drunk driving. I hope she will understand why I can think rationally about most issues but become temporarily insane when I discuss the threats of nuclear war to my children's future.

I want to describe to my daughter the exhilaration of seeing your child learn to hit a baseball. I want to capture for her the belly laugh of a baby who is touching the soft fur of a dog for the first time. I want her to taste the joy that is so real it hurts.

My daughter's quizzical look makes me realize that tears have formed in my eyes. "You'll never regret it," I say finally. Then I reach across the table, squeeze my daughter's hand, and offer a prayer for her and me and all of the mere mortal women who stumble their way into the holiest of callings.

11.5 Weeks To Go!!

Hi! We haven't posted in awhile. Not too much is new. Our next doctor's appointment is February 15th. Apparently after this appointment we will have to go every two weeks. I didn't hear back from my doctor regarding the lab tests I had a few weeks ago, so I am assuming everything was fine. They usually don't call unless there is a concern. I hope everyone enjoyed the 3D ultrasound pictures! We sure love them and love watching the DVD! We're not going to post the DVD on the blog because it is 45 min. long!! We have picked out a paint colour for the room and have bought two really cute pictures. They are of baby Big Bird petting a giraffe and of baby Cookie Monster giving a cookie to a baby tiger! They're so adorable! We've also signed up for a diaper service - Happy Nappy! If you are interested you can view their website at http://www.happynappy.ca/. A friend recommended the company to us. We're of course excited about this as well - there seems to be an "excitement" theme here!! We're excited about EVERYTHING!!! You know the song, "I'm so excited and I just can't hide it ..." That's pretty much our theme song right now! Until someone reminds us of the other aspects of having a baby! Such as the sleepless nights (which we're trying to minimize by reading Babywise!), the fact that from the day we found out we were having a baby to forever we will never stop worrying, the terrible twos, the teens, etc, etc!! Actually I read a fantastic story about motherhood and parenthood in general which I will post. Get the Kleenex out! Anyways, Cal's birthday is this Sunday so the baby and I have to go shopping!! We actually just realized a few days ago that we will have our first Mother's Day and Father's Day this year! The baby will be born right in time for Mother's Day (unless he/she is a couple of weeks late)!! Anyways, we hope all is well with everyone and we will talk to you soon!

Luv Tracy and crew!

Some of the New Baby Pics!!

Oh my goodness!!

Today was such an amazing day!! We had our appointment at UC Baby at 5:00 pm. It was so, so, so awesome!! I can't even describe it! The baby was not cooperating at first, but after some time it woke up and started performing!! In the beginning it had it's hands and feet in front of its face! Apparently it likes being scrunched up in a ball!! It was literally "kicking" itself in the head and then at one point it was sucking on its big toe!! It also stuck its hand in its mouth, stuck out its tongue (ultrasound tech said it was probably swallowing amniotic fluid) and had a lot of fun playing with its umbilical cord!! We saw a few yawns, as well as a few smiles and a lot of frowns!! It was so cute! The ultrasound tech. commented on its beautiful round cheeks and full lips!! And also how expressive it was! It was so funny because it would frown and smile and raise its eyebrows and rest its chin on its hand with its other hand on its forehead!! The ultrasound tech thought the baby was saying, "No more paparazzi please!" The first thing I noticed was that it had Cal's nose and the ultrasound tech. totally agreed!!! She said it really looks like Dad! And I really thought it did too!! Cal had very round cheeks when he was born. The lady said the baby looks to be right on track with 27.5 weeks and that she predicts it will be 7.5 to 8 pounds when it is born! I thought from the beginning that it would be around 8 pounds, so we'll see!! We have a CD of all of the pictures (40 some) and a 45 minute DVD of the whole session (baby moving around and everything!)!! My sister is going to post the DVD when I give it to her. I could go on and on!!! I totally recommend the experience for anyone pregnant!!! Take care and we'll talk to you soon!

Love Cal, Tracy and Baby
XOXO

We're so excited!!!

Reason being ... on Wednesday we have an appointment at UC Baby! If you haven't heard of this check out their website at http://www.uc-baby.com/. It is so awesome! Actually, if you visit the website you can read all about their services. I originally heard about it from my friend Renee and then at my prenatal aqua fit class a lady was telling me about it and how it was "so worth it"!! Then at my doctor's appointment last Thursday I mentioned it to the Dr. and she said she thought it was a really great idea and a great memory to have, one that your kids can look at for years to come and something neat for the baby book! So, we're going for it! When I booked the appointment the lady told me to have something sweet to eat right before the appointment because that usually gets the baby moving! We will post the pictures afterwards! (and no there won't be any "gender-determining" images!!) Talk to you soon!

Luv us all ;-)

Busy Day ...

Today I didn't go into work. I've been having these "dizzy spells" for the last week and a bit, so I decided to see if I could get into my doctor today and cancel my appointment next Thursday. I did get in and she said it could be a variety of things - gestational diabetes, low iron, a pinched nerve, a virus, or just plain old pregnancy!! I have the gestational diabetes and iron lab tests tomorrow so we'll see what those results are. Other than that, everything is great! The baby is measuring at 26 weeks (which is where it should be) and is very, very active!! I've noticed that it is getting more and more active each week! The doctor couldn't even get an accurate heart rate because it was moving around so much! I can actually see my stomach move at times! I asked the doctor about attending my prenatal aqua fit class and she said it is okay to go, just don't get too crazy in the water. Tonight's talk was by a dietitian from Sweet Momma. You have got to check this place out! The website is www.sweetmomma.ca. It is a pregnant women's heaven!! I am planning to go one of these days! So that was my day. Back to work tomorrow and then the weekend is here! Phew! On Saturday Cal and I are buying the paint for the babies room. Should be fun! Talk to you soon!

Love Tracy and Baby
XOXOX